That was the one question that I heard a lot of times when I announced to my friends,
classmates, and block mates that I will be leaving the country. It was followed by other
statements about things that I will miss when I leave. True, I will surely miss studying
at the state university; I will definitely lose the chance of watching more rallies and
controversial films. I won't be able to have my dose of Oriental telenovelas and movies,
as well as novelty songs by our local artist. No more karolings and parols
during Christmas, as well as the it's-Friday-at-trapik-sa-Quezon City Circle moments.
Jollibee and Max's Fried Chicken are out of reach. Heck, I will miss Rodic's and Myrna's
Sorbetes , too.
It's almost nine months since I left the country, yet the question still haunts me.
Babalik pa ba ako?
My family left some properties back home, so in case that we go back, we will still have a
place to stay in. I am looking forward to that time when I can set foot once more on my homeland,
the place where I was born; the country that nurtured my family and friends; the nation that
helped me understood what was really happening.
Pero babalik pa ba ako?
When other Filipino teenagers asked me this question, I said yes. But instead of getting
excited over the idea, they just snickered and gave me one of their most disgusting and
disappointing looks. Ganyan din ang plano namin, uuwi kami. Pero ngayon, dahil mas masarap
ang buhay rito, hindi nalang kami uuwi. Saka walang pera sa Pilipinas! Tingnan mo, sa loob ng
tatlong taon, magbabago na rin ang isip mo at magugutom ka lang sa pagiging makabayan mo.
Now, now, don’t they sound like a little bit materialistic? True, most of us applied as
permanent residents, and that means that we will (more or less) become new citizens of this
country--the country where we, immigrants--are now staying. Things are easier here compared
to the Philippines, but hey, does that imply that we should not go back to our own roots?
I know, things are different now, but a few months of visit won't really hurt, right? Is it
really hard to give up to new traditions that immigrants had acquired? Can’t we just sacrifice
just a little time to meet up with family and friends? It makes me feel really sad and
disappointed.
Do you think I will ever change my mind like what other people had said? I do not want to
be cynical, because I love the Philippines. I want to come back. I am looking forward for that
time when I can actually set foot on Bay Walk, watch as other people walk by and amuse myself
with the big, bright lights. I want to see my friends from high school and college; and be
amazed at how they changed. Maybe I won't be back after three to four years, but I will be back.
And when I do, I know I'll have a lot of catching up to do--knowing who's together now and not,
how much the jeepney and tricycle fares have become, what the newest dance crazes now are,
and how people look like after years of not seeing each other. I know that the warmth and love
that I will receive when I get back home is much better than the idea that walang pera sa
Pilipinas. Not everything can be compensated by money, methinks.
Ask me again, dear reader. Babalik ka pa ba? You know my answer.
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Si Angela, 18, ay kasalukuyang nakatira sa Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada.
Kapag may panahon o walang magawa, bisitahin din ang kaniyang koleksiyon
ng mga AngelaSolis.ph.
