I'LL START like I have never known what merits are. I'll earn points
from zero. I'll try not to look back at past achievement to cushion
my self-esteem. No, I'll not berate myself. I'll simply begin... accomplishing!
I'll start from scrap.
Past achievements have already served their purposes and the only
reason to dwell on them is to boost one's morale and set one's spirit
high. Yet, it must not be the basis of the present, for the NOW requires
another task to fulfill. I refuse to count the points long earned.
The rewards in them have already lapsed. I'll begin with rags where
nothing in me deserves praise, except the courage to face life empty-handed.
Yes, empty-handed, but unafraid. Nothing to boast but willing to
make dust in the world...
I'll make plans out of the ruins of old dreams; pursue goals out
of old desires; begin creating visions with renewed hopes. Am shedding
off the old self, laying down all the valuables and not, leaving the
baggages, taking only faith in the possibilities out there. It's my
hatch day... and the shell begins to crack where my energies peel
off the hard wall that has long confined me.
Life is too short for all dreams to materialize, for all great opportunities
to come in full bloom. Yet I will seize it. Life is a fragile vessel
of all man hopes for, yet it is a hard ball when it hits one unsuspectingly.
I will waste LIFE... waste TIME, which is its best friend. I will
sit, unmindful how time flies, watching the sunsets, how the breeze
turns cold as the night grows old, how the wind makes noises with
the leaves, how God must be talking to me in many ways. I will hold
someone's hands and stare without prejudices, without confusing reasons
as to why I stay. I will laugh when I am happy and never hold back
the smile that was given birth by happy thoughts. I will waste time
mourning for loses so I would know the depths of pain so that next
time, I'll be braver to meet it in the eye. I will waste time looking
at the "insignificant," the "unlovable," the "unpleasant"
knowing that I, too, am being looked at by God indiscriminately.
I will reach out even when I don't feel so, because to God, the Will
counts more.
From this day onward, I'll be fair to myself. I face the challenges
with nothing but the hope that in the course of time, I will know
myself and the potentials that lies within. Yes, the potential to
succeed and my tendencies to fail. I will try to understand what am
capable of and what is impossible at my command.
Life is each day lived... meaningfully. It matters not how brief
or long the time given, but how fulfilling it is spent. I choose to
waste my life with meaning so that out of the scraps at my disposal,
I can rise to the fullness of being.
