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THE PRESIDENT'S State of the Nation Address provided me with a rhetoric-rich resource for study. Unfortunately, I found more need to directly analyze the concrete merits of the "case". Stuff like a look at her priorities and how it fits into the world-view she adopts. Also, were the statistics accurate or should we believe the "margin of error" reported by a congressional oversight committee? Or if we can really eat the sixty-peso galunggong she's selling.

So I had to forego my usual fare of the meaty stuff, that is, focus on language - words, coinages, damning clauses, definitions, contexts, general implications. It's much more tricky than people think. But that's my favorite take-off point. Most of the undergrad work I loved, including my thesis, rested on this critical language study.

I hoped to indulge in that practice in my space here. Maybe I could shed more light on the shadow cast by that demagogic edifice? Unfortunately again, everything I wanted to say about her pile of fine stones, all that beautiful detail and intricate interconnection, has been much more artfully intimated by Benjamin Disraeli in his novel, Sybil.

So I give way to this 75-year old dialogue on some other queen's "strong republic:"

'Well, society may be in its infancy,' said Egremont,... 'but, say what you like, our Queen reigns over the greatest nation that ever existed.'

'Which nation?' asked the younger stranger, 'for she reigns over two... Two nations; between whom there is no intercourse and no sympathy; who are as ignorant of each other's habits, thoughts, and feelings, as if they were dwellers in different zones, or inhabitants of different planets; who are formed by a different breeding, are fed by a different food, are ordered by different manners, and are not governed by the same laws.'

'You speak of -' said Egremont, hesitatingly.

'THE RICH AND THE POOR.'

So what's left for me to say? Just that maybe I can appeal to our President to try and bridge this gap by solid steps. Maybe former President Erap was on the right track. First, I ask:

Where's the budget for entertainment?

I daresay, the constitutional emphasis on education as the state's top priority should be revised. Who are we kidding? Our kids get more from the boob tube anyway. We get our executive and legislative leaders from the entertainment "sector" for crying out loud! Even our President considers the mole on her cheek strategically located because of its association with a sectoral representative, La Aunor.

So government should focus on anti-piracy and stuff like that to protect the industry. Celebrities and their love interests should be recognized as the first class citizens they actually are, even almost at par with white foreigners. Then if, we can't bring tourists and investors into the country, we bring the archipelago to them! And our leaders will play the key role.

With the budget passed without much ado in both houses, we lay down our "infrastructure" on broadcast media, particularly television, and specifically reality TV. The stage is set. And our senators will lead us into the promised land! I propose,

Oplan: Idiot Box. Picture this: Survivor: SENATE

Currently, the opposition are clearly back on the minority. But as Olivares-Cunanan of the Philippine Daily Inquirer notes, Senator John Osmena's role in the investigation of the Ramos-IPP issue may spark another battle royale among our legislators. So there's really no telling. I say, that's our comparative advantage!

The Republic of the Philippines will hold our own Survivor series (c/o the Office of the Press Secretary-Philipine Information Agency) where the senators will be brought to an idyllic, scenic, and mostly uninhabited island after Dick Gordon chooses, washes, and hypes it. Here, they will try their very best to survive the trials of a life without luxury cars, allowances, and designer ternos.

Unless these are permitted as luxury items by Customs.

There will be two tribes, the "majority" and the "minority." Not to worry, those are just names. Each tribe will have an equal number of members to begin with. At certain points in the game, each tribe will vote off one of its members. They will compete for various rewards and the prized immunity idol.

It won't be too big an adjustment for them. Now they'll actually sweat for taxpayer's money. Plus, we get to hear what they actually think of the others through those on-site one-on-one interviews!

With the revenue we get, we'll set it up on cable for the involvement of the international community. It will grow so hot that governments will have to call off our loans just to get advertising slots for their multinational corporations! Plus, we'll get much closer to the ideal of a participative government, with elections held before every season! And maybe we can get those text-in votes and homepartners everytime a vote is about to break a tie and decide the political fate of a contender.

Oh yes, we'll need a host. Maybe we could clamor for Vice President Guingona? The President and her lackeys won't let him do anything else anyway. Don't worry Sir, this project will get much bigger than the DFA!

The ultimate prize? Aside from a variety of rewards, the survivor becomes President with the sole mandate of keeping the game alive. No need to focus on the other stuff.

Kidnapping? Foreigners and their children don't have to come here anyway. Let them speculate away and soon the National Game will be the glossy front cover of their portfolio investments. And tourists also won't need to come over. They can tour, pay-per-view. Our flourishing call centers will take care of it.

The poor? Poverty will soon be a memory. Maybe something we are reminded of only on the Discovery Channel. If the President is right, external attention will eradicate internal hunger. Now that the eyes of the world are on us, I'm confident we'll all be able to eat. Crime will soon be obsolete as we will evolve into couch potatoes with butts and stomachs bigger than everything else except our custom-made lazy chairs. We'll just use the police, NBI, and military for sideshows. The officers are used with acting, false reports, and multimedia grandstanding anyway.

PPA? Don't worry about energy. Almost always, the future Filipino will only use one room. Housing? As I said, everything will collapse into one room, in the future, aptly named as the only Living Room. Everything else will be considered redundant. Education? Who needs it? The path to telecratic power is in everybody's fingertips! Remote control.

What about her stale sixty-peso galunggong? The survivor-president can say she got hers at ten pesos (with or without any chief executive discount). Ate Glo, Big Sister herself, can say whatever she wants! She's the survivor, she earned it! Might is right.

She sells it, we eat it. Where she goes, we'll watch. And her strong republic will cheer her on.

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