Being Alone
By Emmy Rose

THE BEST thing that I've done to myself so far was rediscovering who I am and being the person that I want to be.

I'm 24, working as an engineer and I have been through a lot lately.. I discovered that I am not as lonesome as I was. I have been alone for the past four years and I have been upset because I haven't had anyone in my life since my break-up almost five years ago. Back then, I thought I just couldn't be happy by myself.

Now, I realize that I am happier than I thought I could be, and I'm starting to embrace this independence I have found, almost to the point I am starting to wonder if I want to give of myself again to someone else. In the past, I have always let my heart lead me, being the hopeless romantic that I am. But following my heart and not my head can get me into trouble sometimes. So now finally, I now trying to use my head more than my heart. I wish we could have all this understanding in the beginning.

I like being able to come and go when I please, go with friends at a moment's notice or just hang around the house and look awful if I want. I might fall in love again soon, I just don't know that yet. But I have finally discovered that being alone isn't quite so bad and it's not the end of the world. I have discovered that I can entertain myself if I need to, and that it isn't someone else that makes you happy. I have discovered that no one else can make you happier than yourself.

I have a great feeling inside when I say this it is such a revelation for me. I finally feel free after struggling with this for years. I have always looked for someone else, but I never looked within and what I have found recently is such a treasure.

I found myself and that gives me happiness.

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